After my long silence....

Salam all....

sorry for my long silence... there are tones of stories to be told... joys & tears to be shared... but, let me share with all of you the moment which i will remember forever... someone tht we lost and could not be replaced... my one & only uncle from my dad's side.. i copy n' paste my sis's writing from her blog http://suerie.blogspot.com .. b4 i read this, i thot i was strong... but, i realized, i'm just a normal human being.. my heart is not made from stone.....


Matter of Heart
Text from Mak on April 27, 2009

"Nanti bila Mak n Abah dah sampai rumah, jangan tanya Abah pape tau. Abah menangis jegh sepanjang jalan ni.."

Orang kata askar ni keras, garang. Yer, Abah sememangnya garang. Kami adik beradik semua dah merasa penangan tali pinggang askar Abah yang tebal tu. Tapi hakikatnya, Abah kat luar jegh nampak garang, tapi bila masuk bab-bab family matters ni, hati Abah hanya sekeras kaca. Pantang dihempuk, pasti berderai pecah. Itulah Abah yang aku kenal. Sejurus sampai, aku jengah Mak kat bilik and tanya pasal Abah. Mak cakap, sepanjang-panjang perjalanan, airmata Abah tak berhenti-henti menitik. Abah drive straight dari Kedah ke KL, tak berhenti even satu hentian pun. "Yela, Abah tengah sedih lagi tu. Siapa tak sedih, adik sendiri meninggal..", sambung Mak. Even masa hari pengkebumian arwah, Abah was the last person to leave the cemetery. Kata Abah, "Abah tak sampai hati nak balik sebenarnya. Bukan apa, kan malaikat Munkar dan Nakir akan mula menyoal selepas 7 langkah orang yang terakhir tinggalkan kubur seseorang tu..". Sekali lagi Abah sebak..

Malam tadi sempat berborak sekejap dengan Abah, Abah cakap Abah terkilan tak dapat turunkan arwah sama-sama sampai ke liang lahat, sebab setibanya Abah kat tanah perkuburan, kubur arwah sudah separuh dikambus tanah. "Abah sampai sama-sama dengan kereta jenazah time tu, cuma lewat kejap nak cari parking. Sampai-sampai, tanah dah separuh. Rezeki Alang kot, dipermudahkan bahagian dia. Semua urusan cepat jegh. Masa mandikan jenazah pun senang, badan arwah terkulai lembut jegh. Muka putih bersih. Tapi tu la, orang lain (bukan adik-beradik) semua Abah turun sampai ke liang lahat, tapi Alang...". Abah dah tak mampu nak teruskan kata-kata. Dalam diam, Mak angkat-angkat kening, signal supaya topik tu tak diperpanjangkan lagi. Aku paham, Mak just tak mahu Abah sedih.

Aku teringat masa mula-mula Pak Lang admitted kat kampung. It was two months ago. Time tu Abah baru jegh hantar Pak Lang balik kampung sebab Pak Lang ada checkup kat HUKM if I'm not mistaken. Then a few days later, Mak Tok telefon Abah bagi tau Pak Lang admitted. Aku ada terdengar Abah cakap kat Mak, "Biarlah Norma dengan Ani pulak yang balik.", and Abah terus masuk bilik untuk solat Asar. But then after a short while, I've heard Mak was comforting Abah.. yes, Abah was crying. And I? I just couldn't help but cry when I overheard the convo between Mak and Abah. I don't even dare to get out from my room at that time. It really broke my heart seriously, sayu rasa hati mendengar Abah menangis.. airmata aku mula menitik laju. How I wish he will be doing just fine, how I wish I could do something to ease his burden.. how I wish *sigh*.
An awkward moment it was...


Hospital Taiping, Perak
Khamis, 6:02 pagi
April 23rd, 2009

Dari-Nya kita datang dan kepada-Nya kita kembali
innalillahi wainna ilaihi raaji’unn
Al-Fathihah buat Allahyarham Pak Lang
Semoga Allah mencucuri rahmat ke atas rohnya dan semoga Allahyarham ditempatkan bersama kalangan mereka yang beriman.


for me, personally alang was also exactly the same like abah.. both of them look very fierce.. but have the same kind hearts.. 1 memory tht i could not forget abt alang is he helped me do my standard 3 (or was it standard 2) arts homework... i am not good in arts, neither drawing nor painting.. so unfortunate of me, coz my dad n' his sisters + brother @ alang r very good in arts.. i drew badly... alang helped me to draw a very nice drawing.. i still can remember vividly tht drawing.. there was a pendekar sitting under a tree.. facing a lake & mountains/hills...

at first, alang just drew for me... he told me to paint on my own.. but, i was afraid tht i would ruin such a nice drawing.. he colored it for me.. n' thanks to him.. for the first time i got A for my arts n' my drawing was posted up on the wall..

actually, alang was an average person.. he didnt do well in his life.. once tok told him, "awat hang tak keje mcm org lain? abang, akak & adik2 hang sumer keje gomen.." he replied, "mak, ok apa cek tak keja mcm depa.. kurang2 cek jage mak & abah.. cuba kalau cek keja mcm depa, tadak org jaga mak ngan abah kat sini.." .. which was obviously VERY true.. he was the one who stayed with my grandparents @ kg... he had the same passions with my grandpa & my dad.... the 3 of them r very similar... same hobbies.. same way of thinking.. tht's why when 1 of them is no longer around, everybody could sense tht something is missing..

Al Fathihah for arwah alang.....


Intan...
Loc: KL
Date: 05th May 2009